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Joel Weiner is a self-proclaimed zombie expert.
He has seen the movies. He has attended the conferences. And he's trying to make a living selling zombie wares.
So he knows exactly what he would do to survive a zombie apocalypse.
Below, he shares survival tips for the day the world falls victim to brain-eating monsters.
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A view of the Stratosphere Tower Thursday, April 5, 2012. Photo by: Steve Marcus
Where to escape on the Strip
Weiner's first and only stop on the Strip would be the Stratosphere. Its tower offers a perfect escape route, he said.
“If you take your two elevators to the top, open the doors and turn them off, nobody can get up,” Weiner said. “If you need to get out of there, you’ve got that bungee drop you could hook up and – see ya! – bungee off the side of the building.”
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White 2002 Chevrolet Suburban LT 1500, with a gray, leather interior bearing both Arizona license plates 379-ZYE and D230S3. This vehicle was one of two used to drive victims around town.
How to outrun the undead
At first blush of an outbreak, Weiner would transform his Suburban into a “zombie escape vehicle” by loading it up with spam, Vienna sausages and water.
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The Resort on Mount Charleston stands over what used to be a golf course Friday, July 20, 2012. Photo by: Sam Morris
Where to hide from brain eaters
Weiner said it would be best to set up camp with mountains behind you. They offer a good vantage point to keep a lookout.
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Marketing manager Bobby Alexander, right, talks with Kathy Darling inside the new Costco Business Center on Martin Luther King Boulevard on Feb. 11. The center, with an emphasis on business, restaurant and janitorial supplies, was opened Feb. 19. Photo by: Steve Marcus
The gonzo approach
Weiner is married, with a day job and three children.
But if he were single and unattached, he said, he’d handle a zombie attack differently.
He’d steal a giant tour bus, tear out all the back seats and ram it through the front of a Costco.
There, he’d load up on cigarettes, booze, food and cases of water.
“As soon as there’s a zombie apocalypse, I’m doing it, whether it’s fake or not," Weiner said.
He imagines the headline: "A local man drove a bus through a Costco because he thought zombies were coming.”
“Can you imagine that?” he asks.
