Health Care Quarterly:

Volunteer profile: Dan and Sharon Ruff

Sooner or later death finds us all.

But for Las Vegas resident Sharon Ruff, death has become a regular part of life. After retiring from the food service industry, Ruff decided to spend her free time volunteering. So, in 2000, she began the search for opportunities that would be a good fit.

She reached out to local hospitals and several other organizations, but was told that there were no volunteer opportunities available.

“I really had my heart set on doing this (volunteering),” she said. “I knew that something would come up, and the right opportunity would be put in my path.”

Eventually, Ruff stumbled upon a volunteer bulletin at her church.

“It was for Nathan Adelson Hospice, and I thought that it was fate that I saw it because this could be work that would really be consuming but well worth it,” she said.

Ruff began volunteering two days per week. On her first day, she began entering patient rooms to introduce herself and offer company or support. In one of the first rooms she found a father and son who had been keeping vigil at the mother’s bedside for some time. They appeared to be exhausted and asked if Ruff would sit with their loved one while they left to get something to eat. Ruff, of course, agreed, and sat next to the unconscious woman.

“While they were gone, she died,” Ruff said. “I immediately went to get the nurse, and it was confirmed. Soon the family members returned, and you feel for them. Something happened that day that I have not seen happen since, but it was moving and life-changing.”

Ruff said that the chaplain, nurses, volunteers and family members joined hands around the woman’s bed and prayed for her and those she left behind.

“When it was over, I had to excuse myself and go into the chapel to cry,” she said.

Ruff said that volunteers have no medical responsibilities but serve strictly as companions for patients and family members. Or volunteers can handle a plethora of other needs at the hospice.

“Sometimes we are a friendly ear,” she said. “A family member may feel worn down and need to unload their troubles, and we are there. Maybe a patient wants to talk or have someone hold their hand, and we are there.”

Ruff said one of the saddest things about hospice work is the fact that there are many people who do not have family or friends by their side.

“That’s where we come in as volunteers,” she said. “Nobody should die alone, and we ensure that nobody does.”

In 2010, Ruff convinced her husband of more than 50 years, Dan, to volunteer as a driver for the hospice. He delivers food, flowers and Christmas baskets to Mountain View Hospital, nursing homes and other facilities.

“I’m glad to be doing what I’m doing, and I do whatever is needed,” he said. “I want to support Sharon.”

They noted that they know how blessed they are when they get to come home to one another every day.

“You really start to understand what matters in life when you are around death,” she said. “I do love this work. I get more than I give. I’m blessed to be able to sit as a witness and a comforter.”

A few years after she began volunteering, Ruff sat in a room talking to a woman who was dying. The patient was awake, and mentioned that her daughter would be coming to visit soon. Ruff smiled politely and told the woman that was wonderful. Then, with little explanation, the woman asked Ruff if she would stay with her daughter when she arrived. Ruff agreed, and shortly after the woman seemed to fall asleep. Minutes passed and Ruff noticed the patient was no longer breathing. The patient’s daughter arrived not long after, and when Ruff asked if she could do anything for her, the daughter thanked her for being there when her mother passed.

“I think the patient knew that she was going to pass, and she thought that it would bring her daughter great comfort to know she was not alone,” Ruff said. “It was a final kindness of sorts, and I’m glad I could do that for both of them.”

But even after her years of dedicated service, Ruff said there is one reality in hospice care that is still hard to swallow: seeing young people die.

“It’s tough because they have their entire lives ahead of them, and it seems unfair,” she said. “Children are the hardest. I can’t work with children for my own mental well-being.”

After decades of working for the Clark County School District, she believed herself to be one tough cookie. But when she was asked to hold a dying infant, she discovered that her breaking point in this work would be with children.

“I got as far as the door, and I couldn’t go in,” she said. “I couldn’t do it. I’ve never been asked to work with children again.”

Ruff said her experiences at Nathan Adelson Hospice have also shaped her personal beliefs about death. She cites a memory held close to her heart: when her dear uncle lay dying, she was able to comfort him in a way that, prior to her volunteer work, would not have been possible.

“He told me he was afraid to die, and I was able to tell him that there was nothing to fear,” she said. “We, instead, focused on the memories that were cherished and positive. Before volunteering, I probably would have tried to deny that he was dying by telling him that he was going to be fine. Instead, I was able to help him embrace his own mortality.”

According to Sharon, someone looking for a volunteer opportunity need look no further than Nathan Adelson Hospice, especially if the goal is to gain some perspective.

“If someone feels in their heart that they need to be a volunteer, this is a very special place. It’s difficult work but well worth it,” she said. “I’ll continue volunteering as long as I’m able.”

For more information on volunteering with Nathan Adelson Hospice, call 702-733-0320 or visit www.nah.org.

Share